Update with a tune ¹⁸

Another update written by Ingrid…

What is going on in my life… well… very much and very little.
My day is often filled with one the thing that I have energy for and everything else will just have to wait till tomorrow.

So I might have a coffee date with somebody or I have to be driven to Target to buy myself something exciting. The exciting news is that I get to use an electric scooter to run over things. And the not so exciting news is that I need an electric scooter or I won’t make it around the store. I simply don’t have the energy. I try not to think about it too much, but if I do, I can have a really good crying session, for sure.

Every day things are harder to do. If you see me, you probably think there is a perfectly healthy woman sitting in front of you, but I’m not. I’m sick, I feel sick! I have pain and I’m very tired. The cancer cells tend to take whatever they need to survive first and one of the things they need in oxygen. So I seem to be a bit short in that department. I also have small cancerous tumours growing on my head, under my hair, and they hurt, so please pray for them to stop developing and growing. There are about 5 right now and they seem to grow quickly!? I don’t want them.

Do I know how long I still have? I really don’t! I didn’t think I would make spring but flowers are starting to bloom so I have made it this far.

People have blessed our socks off, I’m so grateful. It is truly a time of mourning but there is so much joy.

Some of our musical friends have written songs, some have come to bring worship to my house and give me some heaven here on earth, some have brought meals, some have cleaned and done yard work. Some have washed my feet and have poured oil over my head and prayed for healing. Some have cried and blessed me with sharing mourning. Some have given me flowers, music and books. It has been so amazing.

Sometimes I feel like God allows me to speak truth in peoples’ lives. It is interesting because I feel like I’m running out of time to say certain things, but really we are all running out of time. So I allow myself to say things that maybe could have waited. But sometimes the time is now and often it is just what the person needed to hear. Maybe we spend too much time waiting for the right moment. I concern myself with what I will leave behind and if people know who I really am and I hope I have been truthful with myself and with others.

I want to be honest. Have I told everybody how I feel about them?? I really hope so!

Ingrid  recording at Bottega Studio

Nico’s number one question that he is asked is, “How is Ingrid?” Good is the answer! Must drive him crazy! Ha. Ha. Maybe I can tell you…

I am doing good and bad! I’m happy and sad, I’m overwhelmed but peaceful. I’m disappointed that my future has a different outcome. I feel very loved but sometimes very lonely! Sometimes I feel like I can do everything but there are so many things that I can’t do anymore. I’m painting sometimes (a few minutes here and there) and I’m very thankful for everything that I still have and that I can still do. I’m trying to release everything else to God that I don’t have control over. So hopefully that will answer your question a bit better. Better than “GOOD”!

I have still painted a few paintings which are still for sale. One of my paintings is now in Florida and I have a few in a Holland as well as in Connecticut. So maybe I will still be famous one day. Ha. Ha. Does make me so proud and happy that I got to do that. Soo fun. Feel so blessed.

One of my friends is a master potter and has let me use his studio to do some creating myself. My hands can create things when I’m sad, happy, angry or simply peaceful. I’m not saying I have made anything amazing yet but my heart is sure in it. I love it! Thank you Brian for the amazing opportunity.

I also got to record one of my songs about 2 months ago so one day you will hopefully get to hear that. Sooo fun to do. It is hard for me to sing now with my lungs being so sick so I’m grateful that I still got to do that!

Truly my life is so full with wonderful things, friends, family and experiences… I don’t even know where to start. I’m a very blessed person.

Biggest blessing right now is to have my mom here. Wow! Don’t even know what to say. She has completely taken over my household and takes care of everything. Some people might think of that as a bad thing but it is not. It is the sweetest love offering that I could possibly receive. She gives our home everything that it needs right now. Thank you mama. You are the best.

I hope you feel updated.

I’m still on lots of hydromorphone (morphine) which I’m so thankful for. The doctors and nurses are wonderful and are taking the best care of me. Palliative care is wonderful. They are willing to give me everything that I need to keep me very comfortable. That is such a relief.

Our children are doing so well, they are sooo wonderful and lovely. I’m so impressed with them. What can I say?

“What can I do???” Keep doing what you are doing. Please pray for my healing. I love cards, gifts, flowers, little visits, foot rubs, manicures, pedicures, magazines, meals. It is all wonderful. You have done well.

Tell me your stories, I want to hear about your life, your problems. I want to talk about the things that I’m facing, we are facing. I don’t like it when people compare their problems with mine and think that they are insignificant. Please don’t do that! Every problem is worth talking, crying or laughing about. It is all good.

I love you all so much. Thank you for being there for me. You are all wonderful!

I feel blown away that somebody would write a song about me. Andrew Smith has done an incredible job and I feel like he’s really portrayed me well with this song called “Life Goes One (Ingrid’s Song). I feel very honored… and yes I did fall off the horse and yes I did get back up (ha ha).