Update with a tune 18
Another update written by Ingrid…
What is going on in my life… well… very much and very little.
My day is often filled with one the thing that I have energy for and everything else will just have to wait till tomorrow.
So I might have a coffee date with somebody or I have to be driven to Target to buy myself something exciting. The exciting news is that I get to use an electric scooter to run over things. And the not so exciting news is that I need an electric scooter or I won’t make it around the store. I simply don’t have the energy. I try not to think about it too much, but if I do, I can have a really good crying session, for sure.
Every day things are harder to do. If you see me, you probably think there is a perfectly healthy woman sitting in front of you, but I’m not. I’m sick, I feel sick! I have pain and I’m very tired. The cancer cells tend to take whatever they need to survive first and one of the things they need in oxygen. So I seem to be a bit short in that department. I also have small cancerous tumours growing on my head, under my hair, and they hurt, so please pray for them to stop developing and growing. There are about 5 right now and they seem to grow quickly!? I don’t want them.
Do I know how long I still have? I really don’t! I didn’t think I would make spring but flowers are starting to bloom so I have made it this far.
People have blessed our socks off, I’m so grateful. It is truly a time of mourning but there is so much joy.
Some of our musical friends have written songs, some have come to bring worship to my house and give me some heaven here on earth, some have brought meals, some have cleaned and done yard work. Some have washed my feet and have poured oil over my head and prayed for healing. Some have cried and blessed me with sharing mourning. Some have given me flowers, music and books. It has been so amazing.
Sometimes I feel like God allows me to speak truth in peoples’ lives. It is interesting because I feel like I’m running out of time to say certain things, but really we are all running out of time. So I allow myself to say things that maybe could have waited. But sometimes the time is now and often it is just what the person needed to hear. Maybe we spend too much time waiting for the right moment. I concern myself with what I will leave behind and if people know who I really am and I hope I have been truthful with myself and with others.
I want to be honest. Have I told everybody how I feel about them?? I really hope so!

Ingrid recording at Bottega Studio
Nico’s number one question that he is asked is, “How is Ingrid?” Good is the answer! Must drive him crazy! Ha. Ha. Maybe I can tell you…
I am doing good and bad! I’m happy and sad, I’m overwhelmed but peaceful. I’m disappointed that my future has a different outcome. I feel very loved but sometimes very lonely! Sometimes I feel like I can do everything but there are so many things that I can’t do anymore. I’m painting sometimes (a few minutes here and there) and I’m very thankful for everything that I still have and that I can still do. I’m trying to release everything else to God that I don’t have control over. So hopefully that will answer your question a bit better. Better than “GOOD”!
I have still painted a few paintings which are still for sale. One of my paintings is now in Florida and I have a few in a Holland as well as in Connecticut. So maybe I will still be famous one day. Ha. Ha. Does make me so proud and happy that I got to do that. Soo fun. Feel so blessed.
One of my friends is a master potter and has let me use his studio to do some creating myself. My hands can create things when I’m sad, happy, angry or simply peaceful. I’m not saying I have made anything amazing yet but my heart is sure in it. I love it! Thank you Brian for the amazing opportunity.
I also got to record one of my songs about 2 months ago so one day you will hopefully get to hear that. Sooo fun to do. It is hard for me to sing now with my lungs being so sick so I’m grateful that I still got to do that!
Truly my life is so full with wonderful things, friends, family and experiences… I don’t even know where to start. I’m a very blessed person.
Biggest blessing right now is to have my mom here. Wow! Don’t even know what to say. She has completely taken over my household and takes care of everything. Some people might think of that as a bad thing but it is not. It is the sweetest love offering that I could possibly receive. She gives our home everything that it needs right now. Thank you mama. You are the best.
I hope you feel updated.
I’m still on lots of hydromorphone (morphine) which I’m so thankful for. The doctors and nurses are wonderful and are taking the best care of me. Palliative care is wonderful. They are willing to give me everything that I need to keep me very comfortable. That is such a relief.
Our children are doing so well, they are sooo wonderful and lovely. I’m so impressed with them. What can I say?
“What can I do???” Keep doing what you are doing. Please pray for my healing. I love cards, gifts, flowers, little visits, foot rubs, manicures, pedicures, magazines, meals. It is all wonderful. You have done well.
Tell me your stories, I want to hear about your life, your problems. I want to talk about the things that I’m facing, we are facing. I don’t like it when people compare their problems with mine and think that they are insignificant. Please don’t do that! Every problem is worth talking, crying or laughing about. It is all good.
I love you all so much. Thank you for being there for me. You are all wonderful!
I feel blown away that somebody would write a song about me. Andrew Smith has done an incredible job and I feel like he’s really portrayed me well with this song called “Life Goes One (Ingrid’s Song). I feel very honored… and yes I did fall off the horse and yes I did get back up (ha ha).
Dean Clark
April 8, 2014 @ 9:39 PM
Ingrid. Its hard to know what to say.You are an amazing person.So honest, so real. You inspire me to want to live and love well for the short time we have on this earth. The thought of you not being with us much longer is heart breaking. I’m hoping we can make it out soon to see you. We love love you so much.
Pauline kolochuk
April 8, 2014 @ 10:22 PM
Oh Ingrid… what a beautiful song he wrote for you and your dear family. It brought me to tears. It is so good to know, that you are loved. Not only by our God, but by so many friends. And yes.. Life goes on.. On the other side of all our letting goes and holding ons… I pray for your children, that they will feel loved and cared for as well. It must be so hard for them to have to let you go as well and it have to see you oh through this.
And yes, please God.. Embrace Ingrid. The skin on her head.. Give her health in her lungs, her body.. Please touch her with Your amazing gift of life.
Als je het leuk zou vinden, dan zou ik je wat Eva’s kunnen opsturen. Het is een Nederlands christelijk maandblad, heb je ze van het afgelopen jaar al gelezen? Ik kreeg ze dit jaar van een vriendin die langs kwam in Canada. Als je het leuk zou vinden om die te lezen, dan stuur ik ze graag naar je op.
Sterkte en Zijn aanwezigheid om je heen en in je ziel.
Ik vind je zo dapper.. Zo dapper.. Tjonge..
Dank je voor je update.. En je kwetsbaarheid daar in.
Heel veel liefs van Pauline de koning – Kolochuk
Sandy Rosen
April 8, 2014 @ 10:52 PM
Ah Ingrid – how wonderful to hear every facet of your day-to-day realities and your straightforward honesty. You have allowed us to SHARE in your sufferings. I see the nearness and the beauty of life permeated with loss like the deepening of coloured dye on pristine fabric. Thank you for continuing to weave precious threads of relationship and love. Such a gift!
Celeste Yohai
April 9, 2014 @ 12:15 AM
Inggrid, I have a love / hate relationship with your blog! I love how well you express what’s going on in your life, but I hate that your so sick……Glad you get to do all the neat things like horseback riding pottery making, painting, and songwriting……Love that you are as positive as you are. Glad that your Mom has taken over 🙂
Loved the song :-))
Praying for you in Amsterdam
Rhonda Ashworth
April 9, 2014 @ 12:47 AM
Hi Ingrid,
What an amazing lady you are! Don’t know if you remember, but Steve and I were in the DTS with you and Nico! We’re still here with YWAM, 3 teenagers later, and very blessed by your faith, your blog and what a beautiful testimony to you and your life that Andrew wrote and sang. We will pray and believe with you.
With our love,
Rhonda and Steve
Gerrit en Alie Dolk
April 9, 2014 @ 1:09 AM
Lieve Ingrid Gerrit en ik wensen jou met je gezin en fam. heel veel sterkte met de dingen die er zijn
en nog komen heel veel liefs en alle goeds we wensen jou een mooi afscheid van allen die je dierbaar zijn dank je wel voor alle mooie stukjes die je schreef dank je wel voor de mooie schilderijen die je maakte en ook heel veel sterkte met jullie afscheid liefs Gerrit en Alie
Robyn Hider
April 9, 2014 @ 2:40 AM
Ingrid,
Thank you for your beautiful words. God has given you unbelievable talents! Wow. You have such strength, courage and faith. We continue to pray for complete healing over your body. Sending you and your family much love from Newtown, CT. To God Be the Glory!-Robyn
Gina Johnson
April 9, 2014 @ 6:15 AM
Ingrid,
Thank you so much for sharing your heart in such a raw, honest and loving way. Thankfulness is such a powerful weapon, and it is so apparent that it oozes from you. From what you shared, the love of the Lord and your trust in him during this season is overflowing in to you and everyone around you. In a time where I yearn to understand God’s love more, this stands out as such a clear cut example. It’s been wonderfult to read your updates, and get a glimpse of the love and experiences you have been able to encounter recently. Thank you for sharing your journey. Praying for you and your family. Lot’s of CT love sent your way!
Ilse
April 9, 2014 @ 6:23 AM
Ik vind dit heel mooi om te lezen, dankjewel.
Janna Nysewander
April 9, 2014 @ 6:58 AM
What I wouldn’t give to actually be living around you again so I could spend time with you every day—just sit with you and hold your hand. It frustrates me that I can’t. I don’t ever stop praying for your healing. I don’t understand why it hasn’t happened yet, but your peace in the midst of this is something I am profoundly touched by. I love you more than you could possibly know.
Ruthann
April 9, 2014 @ 2:09 PM
Dear Ingrid,
I know that I only knew you for such a short time when you and Nico lead youth group. I usually didn’t have much to say and I carried around too much pain to allow myself to be free, to let the people around me in. I will never forget the freedom that you and your husband carried. I will never forget what a beautiful person you were. You welcomed Mike and I into your house, you fed us what you could. You shared your home and your love with everyone. I was so blessed by you. I will never forget this one night in particular, where I was outside crying uncontrollably on your porch. You and Jenn Campbell wrapped your arms around me and prayed. I don’t remember what you said, but I know that God planted seeds in my heart that day. I know that whatever it was that you prayed, your prayers were answered.
I’ve been following whats been happening with you. You are so amazing. I am praying that God will release healing over your body, head to toe. That the pain would be gone in Jesus name. That his love would flow over you and fill you to the brim in a continual overflow. Thank you for being such an amazing example of what it is to be not just an amazing lover of jesus, but just an all around fantastic person. You are so inspiring.
I am so grateful to have encountered you, even for how small a time it was.
Bless you sister!
Love,
Ruthann
Shandra Smith
April 9, 2014 @ 5:00 PM
Wow Ingrid, you do have a way with words. Thank you again for speaking “truth in people’s lives”. Bless you, you are quite the woman. 🙂
Lisa
April 9, 2014 @ 6:37 PM
Dear Ingrid, you were so instrumental in my life before & shortly after I got married when we lived on Victoria Road together. Remember you taught me how to sew and helped me make my kitchen curtains?! (That was my first & last attempt at sewing). I remember playing with your kids on that front rope swing and laughing. Misha was in kindergarten then & she also walked down the aisle as our flower girl. You helped me in my marriage by sharing so honestly about you & Nico. I always trusted your advice. You even gave my husband a room before our wedding & never charged him rent! I am a better person for knowing you. You are a constant remember of goodness, for all people & things in this world. Blessing & love, peace & comfort to you.
Kerby Gernander
April 9, 2014 @ 6:54 PM
Ingrid,
What a beautiful song Andrew wrote! Very sweet and lovely, just like you. I am remembering the first time we met and you invited me to your home. Meeting you changed my whole life and I thank God for that. Your friendship for these past 9 years has been such a blessing! You are always in my thoughts my friend, I would love to be there right now hugging you!
Carmella
April 10, 2014 @ 4:57 PM
Ingrid,
You’re on a journey that none of us understands. In the midst of it, you continue to shine for everyone.
We have all learned,and continue to learn, so much from you. I’m so thankful for the times we spent in our back yard by the pool as well as the special trips to Florida. Those are gifts that I will always hold close to my heart. I can remember conversations as if they were yesterday. Nico was always there for Nick and we are seeing first fruits, that Nico had an impact with,in Nick’s life. Special people who have shared the love of a God over and over again. We hold you close to our hearts and in our prayers for healing. We love you and wish we could help take care of you,love on you,and share more stories. Hugs and love.
Ria van den Heuvel
April 11, 2014 @ 3:12 AM
Prachtig lied Ingrid. Heel veel sterkte voor jou en je familie.
Hartelijke groeten
Ria van den Heuvel
Jane Eamon
April 13, 2014 @ 11:07 AM
Dear Ingrid, there’s never an easy way to say things to make you feel better. It’s amazing that you are surrounded by those you’ve touched in so many ways. Your smiling face, your art, your grace and your youness. Is that a word? Ha, coming from a lyric writer. I am so happy you have so much love all around you. You can feel the energy of that circle when I read your blog. It’s peaceful and honest. And that radiates in everything you write.
You may not be peaceful always but that smile is enough. I’m so glad your days are full of those who care and a little sad that I didn’t get to know you better. But I think of you often, and send merry thoughts to you whenever you do cross my mind.
Much love, graceful lady. The world is a little better with you in it.
jane
Pip Gordon
April 29, 2014 @ 12:58 PM
Dear Ingrid, you have made an eternal imprint on so many of our lives. Dearest beautiful woman of God, of grace, of sheer determination and all things wonderful, you are a blessing that falls on us all across the world. I send you and your beautiful family heaps of love and prayers from a sunny England where Spring has sprung and the colours are beautiful. Your blog makes me smile and cry all at the same time, just as you say, like rain and sunshine. Thinking of you tons, masses of love Pipa xxxxx