So, I wanted to see if my iPhone could really still work if I put scotch tape over the screen. But, it would look pretty lame if I just had scotch tape on my screen for no reason, so I decided that it needed to be broken. So I broke it.
Turns out, my iPhone still works perfectly with scotch tape over the screen. And the cracks are like a Photoshop plug-in making it look more like the 50s when iPhones first came out.